In all seriousness, I have had fluid behind my ear since last october. It felt like someone draped a blanket over my left ear.
Getting your eardrum lanced is probably the weirdest damn feeling in the world. After they pierce it and suck all the fluid out (the sound of which is akin to a demon screaming inside your head, now I know how crazy people feel) they stuff a small tube that pretty much looks like a fender style eyelet. I resisted the urge to request a double lug turret as it is more useful, for I was still recovering from the demon scratching noise in my head. lol.
It is amazing how much that stuff affects your hearing. Doc told me I have some mild permanent hearing loss above 11Khz and now with that tube in my ear high frequency is back. I can hear people whisper, I can hear the TV from my bedroom, hell, I can turn the radio up to five and it doesnt sound mushy. It's kind of an emotional thing, like waking up and opening your eyes after not seeing anything in a long time. Made me really value what hearing I have left.