STICKY Welcome to the Amp Builder's Malevolent Association

[Reeltarded]

Look, you freaking dork. You walk through the door and you got 2 posts that don 't make any effing sense. You claim all your voltages read around 120 but you don't own a meter. This is your first tube amp you bought not working at a garage sale and you destroyed 3 allen wrenches trying to get the phillips screws out. You keep saying the face plate is causing a hum that you are sure of but you pulled "that round thing" out of the wall plug and your amp redplates and shocks you if you touch it. You ask if the tubes might be making a clicking sound when you flip the switches with the amp unplugged. You used crazy glue instead of solder to install a new jack on the PC board.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

Let's take a look at the voltage of your local service. If you open the mains box there is a cover plate with four large screw head bolts. Remove those. Take that stupid cover off that makes it hard to work on.

Ok, there are two outer vertical bars and wider center bar. You see switches in boxes that go between either outer bar and the center. This part is tricky so be cery careful you understand before you start.

If your tongue isn't long enough to reach across both outer legs and the center you are going to need both hands so put the flashlight down. You shouldn't need light because it's going to be bright enough in just a minute...

With your tongue on the middle bar grab both outer bars with your hands. You are tasting for a vanilla flavor with a hint of bacon.

Tell Jesus I said hey.

[Reeltarded]

Higher voltages taste more bacon than vanilla.

[xtian]

Thus ends our informal poll, "Do you approve of the new traffic at TAG?"

Thank you to our one respondent, and sorry we had to call the police. Because our first call, obviously, should have been to Behavioral Health.

[Reeltarded]

I was new traffic once. I stopped at red lights and pedestrian crossings.

[M Fowler]

You been listening to me Miles

[Reeltarded]

Yes. We both have been banned from the Fender discussion for suggesting Marshalls too.

[M Fowler]

Good I don't need the added stress of reading those posts

[Teleguy61]

Briefly summarized as,"Welcome to TAG. Now go away."

[Reeltarded]

I know I am a goof, so I read for 5 years before I even asked a question. I did that so I would (hope) not (to) be a burden.

Dood down there somewhere has Zippy taking his shoes off like there is gonna be a karate show. People come in with new ideas about how to safely reach into a running amp with cocktail gloves on...

It's kind of funny... mmm.. not really. Although I am only kind of social, ok I am a sociopath, but I'd like to think there will be someone to live in misery long after I am gone. I do this for the children.

[vibratoking]

Thanks for the morning laugh Miles. It's therapy and there is a lot of therapy in everyday life...especially here at TAG.

... I read for 5 years before I even asked a question. I did that so I would (hope) not (to) be a burden.

I chose that approach as well. Do you homework first and then try to act intelligent, or semi-intelligent, or anything except annoying and stupid. The problem is that the world needs instant gratification. Learning what a stop sign and crosswalk are requires a small effort...too much effort. It's like the guy that pulls out in front of you and then flips you off.

[NickC]

I would hate to see this board turn into the typical Craigslist Musician Wanted ad site. Fifteen year old children claiming to have 10 years gigging experience, wanting to sing (grunt?) in the style of the Creeping Dead Flesh Eaters, no car (so they need rides), no place to practice, no PA, can't read/write music (but that's good because it doesn't shackle them). Bad music might make you nauseous, but it ain't likely to kill you ...... not like a tube-amp power supply will ...... if you know what I mean, and I think you do.

[vibratoking]

WTF? Our CL seems to full of drummers without a drum kit. But they are drummers and they will play if you'll provide a kit.

Electrocution isn't really an issue if the biggest caps are only like 10uF, right? The situation is constantly evolving. It used to be the slow were run down and eaten by predators. Electrocution may be the next step towards thinning the human heard.

[Reeltarded]

haha it is like that, exactly like that! Rules of the road vs laws of the jungle.. People used to get dressed up to travel by bus... I mean by "public toilet tube". Ya know. It isn't about being an EE when you get here. It's all about attitude.

I can't thank you all enough for the education and the giggles.

[NickC]

Maybe this isn't the right place to post this ..... but then, that's okay, because I prefer obscurity and anonymity.

When I first arrived here, someone prodded me for some credentials (don't remember who, or exact circumstances, it doesn't matter). I did not supply it. I'm strictly a small-fish in a great big sea. I've done some cool gigs, but mostly it's been slugging it out on the dive-bar circuit for 40 years. And the occasional studio session. Most of that stuff was either never released, or long out-of-print.

But here are a few more recent works (within last five years) that can be found on iTunes, CDBaby, etc that I co-wrote and played on (and hope if gives someone some satisfaction). Artist, Album, Title:

Ian Rushton - Land Of Plenty - To Sea (co-wrote, lyrics, lead vocal, guitars)
Track #4 http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/rushton8

Ian Rushton - Land Of Plenty - Tai Awatea (co-wrote, lyrics, backing vocals, guitars)
Track #8 http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/rushton8

Ian Rushton - Spring Will Come Again - Inward Bound (co-wrote, lead guitar)
Track #3 http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/rushton5

Ian Rushton - The Cybase Project - Somethings Got A Hold Of You (co-wrote, lyrics, guitars)
Track #6 http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/rushton6

Mark Green - Fantasy Bridge - Children Of A Forgotten Sun (guitars)
Track #2 http://www.markonemusic.co.uk/Site/Multimedia.html

Mark Green - Fantasy Bridge - Don't Give Up On Love (guitars)
Track #4 http://www.markonemusic.co.uk/Site/Multimedia.html

Mark Green - Fantasy Bridge - A Day By The Sea (guitars)
Track #10 http://www.markonemusic.co.uk/Site/Multimedia.html

Maybe the music will demonstrate there is a real person behind my inane ramblings?


<edit: links added>

[ToneMerc]

. The problem is that the world needs instant gratification.

I preach this at least one a week seems like.

TM