Divorce Court

[Buschman]

Woke up this morning to end a 24 year marriage. Lots of mixed emotions, just saying. Shit happens and life goes on. I am ready.

[Gibsonman63]

Been there and done that. I am 7 years on the other side of it, so here are my takeaways for what it is worth:

* It's only stuff. Go back to work and buy more stuff.
* You can each have half or you can fight about it and each have a third and give the other third to the lawyers.
* If it needs to be done, then get it done. I have a good friend that waited too late. Now he is stuck. If he gets divorced, he can't be retired anymore.
* The pool of available women is much larger than I would have imagined.
* I am much happier now than I was or would be if I had stayed married.

Hope it helps. Best of luck to you.

[Structo]

Sorry to hear that.
I haven't gone through a divorce per say but ended a long time relationship with a lady that couldn't be trusted.
Even though she cheated on me I still didn't want her to go which was insanity.
You will do crazy things for women.

I actually waited until I was 42 to get married for the first time.


Good luck to you and try to get all the support from friends and family as you can.

Do you have young children still at home?

[ApexJr.]

1988 -- my divorce was like a game show, she got a lot of cash and
prizes....
But worth it, I'm now married to a great woman and happy
Best thing the starter wife did for me.

It will turn out fine with time...

And the post about the lawyers getting all the money is so right
on, try to settle soon. The more you fight the more you pay.

Steve @ Apex Jr.

[Drumslinger]

Sorry to hear that Buschman. Not a fun thing to go through. Like Steve said "the more you fight the more you pay". You don't need the grief especially when her dad happens to have his own law firm! (speaking from experience).

Like Structo said "they make you do crazy things" DON'T! Been there done that too. It's tough to keep a sane mind during the whole process but try. I hope things work out for you.

[ToneMerc]

Like Structo said "they make you do crazy things" DON'T! Been there done that too.

Yeah the thing that makes them rich, makes you poor!

When I was drag racing I used to wear this t-shirt under my firejacket that said, "if it has wheels or tits, you can't afford it"

TM

[Teleguy61]

Look ahead.
Don't look back.
I f the decision is right, stick with it.
There is a future, and it's good.
Speaking from experience. I made a much better choice the second
time. Much better.
Hang in, it gets rough, good luck.
George

[Tonegeek]

Try not to blame yourself or her but give yourself permission to grieve, be angry, sad, depressed, resentful, lonely, lost, etc. I agree that there are plenty of other opportunities for relationships out there. My second time around has also been much more suitable than the first (going on 20 years).

You might not think so now, but it will get better. Hang in there.

[Buschman]

Thanks for all the kind words gentlemen. It was over years ago for me so the grieving was long and slow. Nobody likes failure. She suffered from major depression wich is honestly a very selfish way to live. It killed it. The beautiful intelligent hard working younger woman in my life slammed the door on it. I love life and life is very good.

[JamesHealey]

I'm not even married yet. But got my second child on it's way. I can only imagine how a marriage going sour might be but i wish you all the best.

[ampmike]

Hang in there BRO,ITS UUGLY AND TOUGH,MY PRAYERS ARE WITH YOU,MIKEY,YOU WILL MAKE IT!!!!!MIKEY

[DonMoose]

I'll join the cheerleaders - had to be my own lawyer, and by the time I'm done I'll have paid some $108k in support and her lawyers.

Worth every penny for my current happiness - I consider it ransom.

[skyboltone]

I went through a whole mess of women until I figure out it wasn't them. Hehhehhehheh. So I took some time off and pulled my head out of there. Ahhhh, sunshine!

Now I been married to the same one for 19 years. She's crazier then hell but I just love her to death. Had a chance recently to trade her in for a newer model. Gorgeous thing. Gold digger I think. I'm no chick magnet that's for sure. I walked away without even a dip. I'm proud of myself for that one. In the old days I would have taken a bite out of that apple in front of the old lady and taken my chances. No more. I couldn't have it better.

Good luck dude. You'll be fine.
Dan

[JamesHealey]

Aww dude you should always bite the apple!

[Boof]

...and I just signed up to read about amps...

Seriously though, never look back and keep looking forward. I'm now about two years away from the end of a 10 year relationship and now I'm happier than ever. I can do whatever I want, whenever I want and I'm not spending hours and hours arguing and fighting with someone else. Trust me, I know it's hard and I was really unhappy and stressed for the first year after my divorce. Now, I've let go of 99.9% of the anger and bad feelings because I realized that the only person those thoughts were affecting was me.

Then, out of nowhere about six months ago, I met a wonderful woman who loves music, plays guitar, is totally loyal, and has a great sense of humor. The funny thing is that I wasn't even looking but she's like night and day compared with my ex. I'm planning on sealing the deal with her at some point in the future. This relationship has worked really well so far because I consider everything that happened in the past a learning experience and try not to repeat any of the old mistakes.