A Musicians Bar Joke

[kbperry810]

I didn't write this... but sure found it funny so thought I'd share it here!

C, E-flat and G go into a bar. The bartender says, "sorry, but we don't serve minors." So E-flat leaves, and C and G have an open fifth between them. After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished and G is out flat. F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough. `D comes in and heads for the bathroom saying, "Excuse me. I'll just be a second." Then A comes in, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor. Then the bartender notices B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and says, "Get out! You're the seventh minor I've found in this bar tonight." E-Flat comes back the next night in a three-piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender says, "you're looking sharp tonight. Come on in, this could be a major development." Sure enough, E-flat soon takes off his suit and everything else, and is au natural. Eventually C sobers up and realizes in horror that he's under a rest. C is brought to trial, found guilty of contributing to the diminution of a minor, and is sentenced to 10 years of D.S. without Coda at an upscale correction facility

[Gibsonman63]

Sorry. I'm stealing that one from you now!

[rdjones]

Q. How many bass players does it take to screw in a light bulb ?
A. 1,5,1,5

This joke is best told with a country song playing in the background, and ... timing is everything.
Outside of Nashville it may be better told as "country bass player".

rd

[Gibsonman63]

What's the difference between a lead singer and a chain saw?





Vibrato.

[rdjones]

What's the difference between a lead singer and a chain saw?





Vibrato.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gz-Hxh5jhX4

[boots]

Q: How can the roadie tell when the stage is level?

A: The drool runs equally out of both sides of the bass player's mouth.

[Reeltarded]

How can you tell there is a drummer at the door? Knock speeds up.

Difference between a bass player and a large pizza? Pizza can feed a family of four.

[dreric]

How do you get a lead guitarist to shut up?

Put sheet music in front of him.



What are vocals to the lead guitarist?

It's the stuff between solos

[rdjones]

Q: How can the roadie tell when the stage is level?

A: The drool runs equally out of both sides of the bass player's mouth.

[img:314:360]http://cdn.head-fi.org/f/f4/314x360px-L ... -homer.gif[/img]

[dreric]

So a group of three guys is ship wrecked on a jungle island. Off in the far distance they hear faint drumming and they walk towards it to investigate.

After a day of walking they come to a native village, the drumming is off in the distance. They ask the chief about the drumming, he says "drum good, no drum bad" Curious, they decide to get closer to investigate.

After another day they come to a second village, the drumming is louder but still in the distance. They ask the chief where is the drumming coming from, all he says is "drumming good, no drum bad, very bad"

After a third day of walking through the jungle the drumming is getting very loud, they hear other instruments and some chatting and singing. They come a village where everyone is dancing to the drumming. They ask the chief, why is there drumming? and the chief says "drumming good, no drum bad, very very bad" frustrated they ask why it's bad when the drumming stops. The chief rolls his eyes and says "when drumming stops.........bass solo.

[stevlech]

What do you do when a drummer shows up at your door?




Pay him and take the pizza.

[dunara]

How many singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one - she thinks that all she needs to do is hold onto the bulb, bacause after all - the world revolves around her, doesn't it?

[wicker]

Guitar player walks into room and see that bass player and drummer are arguing:
-Why are you arguing ?
-He distuned my string !
-Is that a big the problem ?
-Yes, cos he don't want to tell which one.

[skyripper2]

So our drummer got fed up with all the digs about being a thicky so he decided to learn the guitar.

He borrowed a cheap electric guitar from me and worked really hard at it. After a while he had all the scales down and all the lead chops, and got to be a really good player.

Eventually he thought “right this is it, I’m gonna go for it” so he marches into the local shop and says “I wanna buy a PRS Custom, a CryBaby, a Mesa Boogie top and a 4 x 12″ cab”

Anyway the guy behind the counter says “You’re a drummer, aren’t you?” My drummer sighs and says “yes, but how did you know?”
And the guy says “This is a fish and chip shop!”

[Bob S]

I tried not to mention the Union for Musicians & Drummers in the UK...